Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
