I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I am spending my child support on dildos
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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