It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
