I cockslap morals
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
