life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
