my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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