I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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