i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize