OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
