Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
