did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
