I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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