I wish I could teleport
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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