lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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