Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
