if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
