I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
