Is it normal to miss your booty call?
oh god the rape fog is back!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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