I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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