you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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