terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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