And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
