so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
