Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
