wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you had me at cake vodka
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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