Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
