Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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