I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
