And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
