hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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