I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
