in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
All the doctor said was why
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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