She said her name was "party"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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