Where did you get a picture of my penis
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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