We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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