you guys were way drunker than both of me
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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