I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
