WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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