my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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