Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
