You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
