Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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