Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My pussy is not your playground.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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