I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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