I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize