I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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