Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
