i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
