what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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