Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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