i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
