wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
