apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
