Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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