Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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