They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
