Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
