I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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