don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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