So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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