so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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