apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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