omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
