just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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