found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
