We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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