How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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