And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
