belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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