why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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