And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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