She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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