nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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